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Dryland? Already?

After my most amazing Cali vaca and arriving with less than 48 hrs in Van I had to hightail it up to  Whistler with my team for a dryland camp and some fitness testing. Oh, so fun.

Pre bike test… All smiles.

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Post bike test. Zero fun.

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Prone row test. Nailed it.

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Push up test.

Stay tuned! More pics from our camp to follow!

SF, Cruz and Vineyards

Alright, it’s sure time for an update eh?

Well, I healed like a champ from my neck and back. I finally admitted that
I think I have a little super human healing powers. I attributed much of my
quick and successful rehab to a few things. The first being, for the most
part, in a positive head space. I meditated a lot, visualized kept blood
flow going in my spine. These were key components I thought in my rehab.

I started to get a little cabin fever going on in Vancouver, so decided to
head south for a change of scenery and some hot weather!

Doloras Park, San Francisco

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After a night in SF I went to Santa Cruz.

Santa Cruz board walk.

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You’re only cool if you’re one of THESE sea lions. Saw them yelling (whining? crying?) while on a run in the sun.

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A peaceful morning at the beach, reading.

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Surfing!

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My girl Tori and I on the beach watching the sun set.

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After two nights in Santa Cruz we went up to Sonoma County for some more sun and exceptionally good wine.

This is the man made lake of Sonoma.

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You guessed it.

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Gazing.

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We were definitely winning…

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Having some fun poolside.

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My last day in the city I met up with Brent! We had an awesome day biking through Golden Gate Park to the beaches!

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Golden Gate Park. So zen.

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Full House? Made my day : )

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For Nik

As I imagine most of you know by now, my teammate Nik Zoricic passed away last Saturday racing in a World Cup event in Grindelwald, Switzerland. This tragedy, to say the absolute least, was the second young life taken away recently in the world of Canadian Skiing. Nik’s death was a mere two months after Freestyle’s pioneer and icon Sarah Burke passed away.

I didn’t know Nik very well because I unfortunately have been injured for most of this World Cup season, my first season in Ski Cross. But I did know Nik; the world of Ski Racing around the entire globe is a very intimate and unique group of individuals. We’re in our own little world I often think. Everyone knows everyone. Whether you are from Terrace, BC or a tiny village in Northern Italy, if you race at an elite level you simply know everyone.

Nik grew up racing alpine. He made the National Team earning a spot to represent his country on the World Cup circuit. Throughout my entire journey to the National Team, to me Nik was one of the older athletes I looked up to. He was a role model in the sport for so many young skiers. His steadfast perseverance and determination are a few qualities among many others that I will always remember about him. When I hear anyone ask a waiter what his/her recommendation is to order from a menu I will forever chuckle and think of Z…

I have been getting to know all my new teammates on the SX Team this season on a deeper level. Traveling as a team, we are with each other every waking hour! It has not been a year with the team and I have already come to feel that this unique group of inspiring individuals are now family to me. I have a family when I’m on the road.

Nik will be missed for every single day to come. I am not ready to start missing more of my family…

Join me in sending love to friends of Nik, the families of Collingwood, the ski community where Nik grew up racing and where his father, Bebe, has coached for decades, and most of all the entire Zoricic family.

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Pregnant Woman shouldn’t eat tubs of Ice Cream

Pregnancy has been a major topic of discussion in my household in the last week. My 7 and a half month pregnant sister in law Erin and my brother Boyd flew home from Australiaz. Last night at the dinner table talking about pregnancy, yet again, it reminded me of my own current physical state. (note: I am not pregnant) We were chatting about how many pregnant woman gain a lot of weight, start eating ice cream on the daily and think it’s fine and dandy until they have given birth and 6 months later unfortunately still look pregnant. The rivitting pregnancy chat made me think of my pain medication that I am happy to say I am barely taking any more, and how I have been making excuses for different emotions and feelings that have surfaced. I have spoken a lot lately to my friends and family about the emotional roller coaster I involuntarily hopped on two weeks ago; I thought the pain meds were altering my emotions. To some degree I believe this, is in fact, true. Last night though I came to the understanding that I am, plain and simple, just a big softy. With the help of my mental skills coach, I believe this journey thus far has just made me much more aware of my mental state and has provided me with the knowledge to process it in a more constructive manner.

I am just over two weeks in with my injury and I already want to take my brace off… It’s not a great sign if you ask me. I have experienced huge gains already in my rehab from sitting up when I am lying down (abs of steel), being able to sit for a much longer time, to driving over speed bumps in a fairly pain free state. That is comforting knowing, yet it is still frustrating experiencing these gains and knowing there is still a far far road ahead of me.

I am staying positive though. I have started to creat an intention for each day with the help of my mental skills coach. Each day my intentions are different. While keeping these intentions with me throughout my entire day, staying attentive to them, and staying very busy with tasks I have set to accomplish over the next two months, I can say I am a happy camper.

Puppies sure help though! Last week we visited a friend of Carol’s 5 week old litter. Need I say more?

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The Tough Guy Act is Disappearing.

Vulnerability.

The last eight days of my life I am confident to say, have made me feel extremely vulnerable. A few factors contribute to this heightened emotional state I have been in and will continue to be in for some days to come.

The first strong feelings I had of vulnerability were present in the hospitals having my clothes literally ripped off my body by multiple doctors. There were at least five strangers hovering over me probing and prodding every inch of my entirely exposed body in a panic stricken, brightly lit EMERGENCY ROOM.

Those feelings inside of me continued once I was out of the ER; lying completely horizontal, barely able to sip a glass of water, having zero capability of dressing myself. I won’t continue in detail but all I will say is I that I’m a girl, a girl with a small bladder… That was yet another painful experience, one filled with vulnerability.

At home now, sleeping in my own bed and being around my family, the vulnerability has subsided tremendously in this familiar environment I truly cherish, yet has sky rocketed in so many other ways. Having to wear this claustrophobic brace 24 hours a day is a struggle for me. I am though, very confident in saying I have MASTERED incorporating the ‘wiggle n wiggle n wiggle yeah’ (thanks to LMFAO) into my frustrating daily routine of clothing myself. I wiggle around on my back lying on my bed and in 3 minutes I am dressed! I realised the other day that the most unfamiliar factor of these heightened emotions I am experiencing was the constant dosage of VICODIN that is in my system.

For a day last week, I tried not taking my medication because I awoke without the regular pain I was used to greeting each morning. I cleaned my room, bending over and over, and sent some emails. The pain in the base of my neck progressively became worse, climaxing into a searing hot throbbing pain that would not dissipate. I took my pills, laid down on my couch and completely broke down in tears. Reading texts from some friends who were trying to make me feel better on my phone made it worse. I cried more. Internal affirmation finally clicked in and I remember telling myself that I had actually, truly, broken my neck and my back. I hadn’t just taken a tumble on my skis I normally bounce back from after a day of recovery. I told myself I needed to rest, be smart and focus on the small steps that one needs to take in order to over come injury, and stay on top of my medication.

I am glad I am aware of this now. I had an extremely exciting talk with my mental skills coach Brent Hogarth. We chatted about many aspects of psychology, the process of rehab and healing being a major topic of our discussion: how we will create a plan so I can cope, learn, grow, strengthen and evolve from this injury. I am honoured and very excited to work with Brent and incorporate positive affirmations into my thought process. We will come up with physical cues to replace potentially negative thought patterns, with the necessary positive thinking that is crucial to healing, daily intentions, and other various forms of meditation.

Vulnerability is a powerful emotion.